Desert Desert
by Amiable Loner
Summary: Morgan finds one of the few ways to completely irritate Reid.


Hello out there! I just thought I'd try this for fun.

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds.

XXXX

Spencer Reid was an easy going person, excitable, yes, but not someone who would act out irrationally because something irritated him.

_Thwump!_

But Derek Morgan had found one of the very few things that could drive him absolutely insane.

_Thwump!_

One of the few things that could drive him to physical harm, to himself and others if pushed long enough.

_Thwump!_

He was fast approaching that point...

_Thwump!_

If Morgan didn't stop, his stapler would find a new home on his head...

_Thwump!_

He wondered how long he could keep this up before he eventually gave himself a concussion.

_Thwump!_

"Morgan, what are you doing to Reid?" someone, it sounded like Prentiss, asked.

"Nothing, I was just telling these lovely ladies about the Sahara Desert," Morgan replied innocently.

_Thwump!_

"I don't think it's 'nothing'." Definately Prentiss.

"And I'm telling you all we're discussing is the Sahara Desert."

_Thwump!_

"...And he's beating his brain cells to death because...?"

"I guess he doesn't like the Sahara Desert."

_THWUMP!_

"Morgan!"

"Excuse me ladies, I think my friend might have knocked himself out," Morgan said as he pushed himself off his desk and made his way over to Reid's, Prentiss right behind him. The two ladies he was talking to discreetly exited. Morgan pulled Reid by his shoulders into a sitting position. The genius looked all right, except the large red spot in the middle of his forehead that had developed from him hitting it against his desk. Prentiss prodded it a bit, causing Reid to squirm and wince. Hotch poked his head out his office door.

"What's going on out here?" he demanded. Prentiss glared at Morgan.

"Reid's been hitting his head against his desk for the past ten minutes," she explained.

"Why on earth would he do that?"

"Morgan," she stated flatly.

"Morgan?" Hotch repeated, unsure he'd heard right. The agent in question contrived to look innocent.

"I haven't done anything except to talk to the ladies from anit terrorism about the Sahara Desert..." He was cut off by Reid who let out a rather loud cry of frustration and dropped his head against his desk again.

_THWUMP!_

"MORGAN!" two voices cried.

"It's not like I dropped him on purpose," he defended as Prentiss lifted Reid off his desk. She was becoming rather concerned about the dazed look that was beginning to cloud his eyes. Rossi joined Hotch outside his office.

"What's going on?" he asked. "I keep hearing this pounding noise..."

"That would be Reid," Morgan answered.

"Reid?" the older profiler asked.

"Yeah, he's been pounding his head against his desk for a good ten minutes."

"Why would he do that?" Rossi asked, suspiciously eyeing Morgan.

"I've only been talking about the Sahara Desert..."

"ARGH!" Reid cried,dropping his head again. This time, Prentiss was ready. She managed to slip her hand between the desk and Reid's head before it made contact. He made no effort to raise his head up, nor did anyone bother to lift him. Rossi exchanged a look with Hotch who looked as bewildered as he felt. JJ paused mid stride to watch the bizarre exchange.

"What...?"

"Reid."

"I can see that, but why...?"

"Morgan's tormenting him."

"I am not, I'm just talking about the Sah..."

"Say it again and my stapler will soon be taking residence on your head," Reid growled as he held said object threateningly at Morgan, taking them all by surprise at the threat and speed at which he'd moved. Morgan retreated a few steps.

"What's going on?" Hotch demanded in his most authoritative voice, hoping he'd at least get Reid to tell him what was going on. Surprisingly, Reid continued to glare at Morgan, brandishing the stapler like a club. Morgan began the explanation.

"Well, last Friday I happened to be at his place and for some odd reason ended up watching a documentary..."

_Last Friday_

_Morgan found Reid sitting on his couch, absorbed in the documentary he was watching. Morgan rolled his eyes as he messed up his friend's hair as he sat next to him._

_"Kid, you have got to get out more," he said. Reid smoothed his hair back into place but didn't say anything. Morgan shrugged and idly turned his attention back to the tv. He had to admit, it was interesting. Soon, he found himself absorbed in it as well._

_It didn't take him long to notice every so often, Reid would twitch a little at something the narrator said. At first it was nothing, his leg bouncing for a moment and then he was still. Then his hands clenched momentarly. Then he was grinding his teeth and his right eye twitched. Finding this all very amusing, Morgan began to listen to what the man was saying._

_"...the Sahara desert..."and Reid exploded._

_"Argh!" he yelled, throwing the nearest object at the tv, which was thankfully a magazine. Morgan found himself grinning._

_"What's the matter pretty boy?" he asked, pretty sure he knew exactly what was bothering him._

_"It's the Sahara! NOT the Sahara desert!" Reid cried. "I know he's only reading a script but don't you think the writers could have gotten right? Not to mention the scientists who give them the information!" He was up and pacing angrily. _

_"Why does that matter?" Morgan asked._

_"Because Sahara means 'desert'!" the exasperated Reid said. "They are saying 'the desert desert'!" Morgan couldn't believe it, but his smile grew wider._

_"And this drives you absolutely insane, doesn't it?"_

_"It would drive anyone who knew better insane!"_

Present Day

The team stared at Morgan, then at Reid. No one seemed to know what to say. Finally, Prentiss broke the silence.

"I was wondering why you kept saying 'desert desert'," she said. To Reid she said, "Don't worry, it drives me insane too."

"Morgan, did you really have to sink that low to antagonize Reid?" JJ asked.

"I didn't think he'd start killing off his brain cells," he admitted.

"But you still kept it up?" Hotch asked, raising his eyebrows. Morgan looked away, chastened.

"Kids," Rossi scoffed as he turned to go back to his office. Everyone else began to go back to what they were doing, but not before they heard Morgan whisper,

"Sahara desert."

_THWUMP!_

"Dammit!"

They all turned to see a smug looking Reid watch Morgan pick himself off the ground, a stapler sized mark on his forehead.

XXXX

I'm a fairly easy going person, but hearing someone say "Sahara desert" makes me want to throttled them as I scream in frustration. I hope you enjoyed the randomness!:)


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